Adam Sandler is a monkey. Don Rickles is a frog. Nick Nolte is a gorilla. Sylvester Stallone and Cher are lions. (Wait, Stallone, the King of the Jungle?? Has James Earl Jones caught wind of this?!)
Just for the record, I’m not listing the line up of celebrity voices in Zookeeper to chew up space, well, okay, I’m not intentionally doing that, but it does make this chore a little easier.
What I’m doing is justifying how ridiculous this process of having stars provide the pipes of cuddly critters has become.
I mean, let’s face it, The Zookeeper is sold out in the asinine department already. Essentially, this comedy is Paul Blart at the zoo.
Only, when Kevin James played a mall cop, there was a bit of charm bubbling amongst the slapstick of his character. Here, as the guy who talks to the animals, James comes up empty. Oh, he bonks his head and falls down a lot. It’s just not a very engaging exercise.
James plays the title role, a kind zookeeper still haunted by the memory of getting dumped by his superficial girlfriend (Leslie Bibb). Five years later, even though she’s dating a pompous knucklehead (Joe Rogan), it appears that James has a shot of winning Bibb back –– only he needs tips and advice from the animals to do so. And yes, as far as the plot goes, that’s about it.
I know, I know, kids will probably dig the talking animals (Sandler’s monkey repeatedly advises James that a surefire romantic move is to “fling poop at her,” y’know, just so you can start your “Yes, it’s funny, but terribly inappropriate” talk now, Mom and Dad).
But after endless furball features like Cats and Dogs and Marmaduke, this is getting to be the most tired trick in the book.
Plus, it’s really not executed all that well in Zookeeper. The mouths on the creatures are flapping away, but the words never quite keep up. Of course, sometimes James has the same problem.
The director with Zookeeper is Frank Coraci. If the name sounds familiar, it’s probably because he’s directed a heap of flicks starring Adam Sandler, including The Waterboy and Click.
And thus, a possible problem with suddenly-drooping career of Kevin James. Much like you warn your teens to steer clear of those “bad seeds”, it’s becoming apparent that, after I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and Grown Ups, the big guy should stop hanging around with Sandler (a co-producer of Zookeeper, by the way) and his doofus buddies.
James is a talented man, obviously adept at physical comedy, but likely capable of so much more.
And he could do more… or he could stay with this less-than-mature crew and continue to have poop flung at him.
The feature is currently playing at Galaxy Cinemas in Vernon.
