Why do relationships give us some of the most beautiful and most painful moments of our lives? This is a question that Eric Bowers has been exploring personally and with the participants in his workshops over the past decade.
Motivated by his desire to create great relationships, Bowers became a Certified Nonviolent Communication (NVC) trainer and then trained extensively in attachment theory and Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB). What he found in NVC were incredible tools for creating great relationships, critical tools that help us use words, attention and energy for resolving conflict, deepening intimacy and strengthening autonomy.
Through IPNB, Bowers discovered that the human brain does a tremendous amount of implicit (non-conscious) learning, especially in early childhood, and especially in the context of relationships. Contrary to explicit learning, which requires effort and attention, implicit learning is stored in the brain without our effort or awareness. It then directs our future behaviour, also without our awareness or conscious effort.
Unlike explicit memory, implicit memory is already functioning at birth, which means that right from the start we’re implicitly learning about relationships. Based on how well our caregivers bond with us and support us to be our own unique selves we form implicit beliefs and coping behaviours that stay with us throughout life, unless we get the support we need to transform them.
Attachment theory goes hand in hand with IPNB. It shows us how the impact on our brain and psychological development gives us an attachment style that affects all our intimate relationships, be they romantic, familial or platonic.
“Once you get the hang of NVC, it can support deep inner transformation,” said Bowers, who returns to Vernon March 27 to 29 for a weekend workshop, Your Treasure Map for Great Relationships. With small group activities, games, movement, music and more, he creates a fun and supportive environment for learning and practice.
For more information, see www.roadtocompassion.com or www.facebook.com/RoadtoCompassionNVC