In my experience, forgiveness is one of the most difficult things in life, especially when it comes to major issues in relationships, business, politics, etc. Whether or not one agrees with this may depend upon what one means by forgiveness.
So what is forgiveness? If we look at the word itself, I think we get a clue. It is all about giving when in fact something has been taken from us, be it dignity, money, love, opportunity, a relationship or any one of many other possibilities. It amounts to bearing the loss or paying a price when it is undeserved. It can be excruciatingly painful and decidedly costly.
If we devalue the cost and/or pain, we can end up saying trite things about forgiveness, such as “forgive and forget.” This strikes me as nonsense if we rightly understand forgiveness. If we were able to forget, we would probably not have learned anything from the experience. However, if by saying “forgive and forget,” we understand that there is nothing to be gained from harbouring resentment, I would suggest it has some validity. In fact, when we harbour resentment, we ourselves become the victim all over again.
The question that arises is “Does forgiveness work.” It seems to me that it can, and we can see instances where it does — sometimes stunningly. True forgiveness, for all its enormous difficulty, enables one to become a greater human being. There are numerous examples through history, but I want to focus on two in particular, one contemporary and one ancient. For the contemporary, as I write, we have before us a truly remarkable example of how and the degree to which forgiveness works, namely in the person of Nelson Mandela. Remarkably, I am able to say this with utter conviction and sincerity — I was born and bred in the apartheid South Africa. While I can add little to what is being said, my conviction is that it was forgiveness as lived out by that remarkable person that has saved almost innumerable lives. It has also served to inspire the world to higher things. Nelson Mandela never ever forgot the indignities, the pains, the losses, the injustices, but he forgave. That forgiveness transformed a country, saved lives and inspired the world.
For the ancient, that has the power to be contemporary, there is the greatest example of all — Jesus Christ. The forgiveness He exercised and brought transformed the world and has the power to transform you and me. While we point to Jesus’ death as the means by which we are forgiven, the truth is that the process began with His birth in Bethlehem. All the events of His life are part of an integrated whole. Forgiveness and love are at the heart of God, who begins by loving and giving and ends in loving and giving. This gift I urge you to appropriate and promote. Forgiveness can and does work. By exercising it, we can transform the world around us in our small but significant way.
At Christmas, and any time, isn’t this worth pondering?
