Eleanor Deckert
At some point one becomes aware or one’s mortality.
For me, that moment is now: my mother is turning 80, my dad is already gone. My husband has outlived his father and I am older now then many photos of my own grandmother. Several aunts and uncles have left this world. It all makes me want to be with my extended family, to reminisce, to laugh, to catch-up, to better understand my own family tree.
And so, I embarked on a “Cousin Quest.” Booking Greyhound, Amtrak and air plane tickets on-line, whipping out my Visa card, paying it all off with on-line banking, I spent many February hours at my computer clicking away, writing lists, making phone calls to ask and then confirm with my children, siblings, cousins, mother, aunts and uncles.
Then, over the past few weeks, through 21 states, making 22 stops, sleeping in 29 different beds, for 40 days, I collected hugs from 58 relatives.
Interesting family history: Oma, my maternal grandmother, emigrated from Germany when her older sister became ill and gave up her ticket! Opa was a chauffeur when he first arrived in the USA. Grammie, my paternal grandmother, buried her mother, daughter and sister within a year. Grampa moved the family again and again looking for translating and editing and proofreading work.
Many of my cousins (like Opa) are self-employed. I was able to tour and pester them with questions. I trimmed bamboo in Washington to feed the elephants, toured a maple sugar bush in Vermont, gathered eggs and held baby turkeys in Colorado. In North Carolina I helped corral horses who knew the electric fence was off.
Physical fitness is high on the to-do list of many cousins and together we: hiked Haystack Mountain in Vermont, Pilot Mountain in North Carolina and to the Cascade Falls in Colorado. I attended NIA, Silver Sneakers and Tai Chi classes.
Food! We had Mexican, Sushi, Italian, Tacos, steak, grilled veggie wraps, BBQ, family favourites, cheese cake (I don’t know how many times) and a fabulous Mother’s Day brunch prepared by my son in Atlanta.
I laughed with my first grandchild, cried when my youngest graduated with a degree in architecture, filled my heart with choir music, remained silently still in the Adoration chapel, and cheered while my mother blew out her 80 birthday candles.
Visiting widowed Aunts and an Uncle who will be leaving the world soon drew me closer to the cousins I share sweet memories with.
It seems to me that cousins are my favourite people. Generous, skilled, focused on faith and family traditions, bonded through our story, name and character qualities. Each and together I love them all.
