The little boy said one little word, “Mom.” His mother burst into tears.
“He used to be able to say it, then he lost it. I hadn’t heard him say Mom for almost two years,” said Shanda Hammerton.
It was a big step on the road to helping Ethan Hammerton, now five, learn to live a good life with autism.
Shanda had had a normal pregnancy and Ethan was a healthy baby who developed normally until he was about 14 months old and she and her husband had just had their second child, Amelia.
“He was talking and playing and doing well, then he seemed to start slipping. He lost eye contact, like he was not there,” said Shanda, who has a degree in child and youth care and had worked with children with autism.
“At first I thought I was being too sensitive but by 18 months he had lost a lot of his abilities. When I took him for an assessment I expected them to tell me it was all in my head, that I was just a new mom over-reacting and I should calm down. But my gut knew something was not right,” said Shanda.
Ethan had the Autism Assessment Screening at 26 months.
“When they said to me, ‘your son has autism,’ the bottom fell out for me. I didn’t expect that. All in that moment your hopes and dreams that you had, everything just falls away. I was scared, I didn’t know where to turn.”
At that time, the family was living in a smaller centre which did not have the services that Ethan needed. They decided to move to Vernon where there were more services and family members nearby.
“I want parents to know there’s lots of help and support available. When you get a diagnosis, it’s overwhelming. Autism doesn’t go to sleep, it’s there 24/7. Families need a lot of help. We came to NONA (North Okanagan Neurological Association) and they worked together with us,” said Shanda.
Each child who receives NONA services has an individualized program. Ethan’s included speech therapy, behaviour therapy and attending pre-school groups.
“Every person with autism is different. If you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism,” said Shanda. “Parents need the professional help but they need help and understanding from the community, too. If you know someone who has a child with autism, ask how you can help. It can be as simple as bringing a meal over, doing a little shopping, or watching the child for 20 minutes so the mother can have a shower.”
Autistic children are easily overstimulated and this makes it difficult to take them out. Only recently has the family been able to go out to a restaurant for a meal. Ethan is doing well in kindergarten at the Vernon Christian School where he has an educational assistant to help him keep focused on classroom activities.
“He was in a school play and he was indistinguishable from his peers. We are seeing the little boy that we knew was in there. He is meeting his goals and they have been hard-fought by everyone. He can dress himself, tell a joke, fight with his sister and play imaginatively with her, such typical things. Things once seemed so overwhelming but we can look back and see how far we’ve come.
“Ethan has taught me so much about looking at the world from a different point of view and experiencing things through his eyes.”
Shanda is grateful for the support from the Vernon Christian School and she has spoken to Ethan’s class about how he, like everyone, is a unique individual and how they can help him.
Helen Armstrong, executive director of NONA, reminds parents that it is important to get an assessment so that services can be accessed. The assessment can be done for children as young as 15 months. Early assessment gives the best chance for a good life for the child and family.
“Once you get through those hard years and achieve goals and know what your child is capable of, you can appreciate all the small, good things in life. The people who work with children with autism find it very rewarding to see them reach goals,” said Armstrong.
Shanda sees a bright future for Ethan.
“As his development goes on life gets easier,” she said. “He can understand explanations and consequences and I know which environments are best for him.
“It is not known what causes autism, it is nothing the parents did wrong and there is no cure. You don’t outgrow autism but people may reach their goals and become independent adults. Some may not become independent but they can learn to live with it and be successful. Early intervention with the right treatment for the individual is the key. There’s always hope.”
