Two of James Chapman’s favourite words are “planning” and “ahead,” and he’s on a mission to ensure everyone in the North Okanagan does just that.
As the community care and advance planning services director with Alternatives Funeral and Cremation Services in Vernon and Armstrong, Chapman guides clients in providing a way of easing the financial and emotional burden for their loved ones.
“Why I do what I do is to help people plan ahead so that when the time comes it’s not a huge burden to the family,” said Chapman, adding that pre-planning is a lot like writing out your will — it’s not sad and sombre, rather it’s a straightforward way to express your wishes.
When a client makes arrangements with Alternatives, their file will include forms with detailed instructions on how selected arrangements are to be handled.
Chapman said these are decisions you get to make for yourself, with clarity of mind and the time to think, which ultimately saves your family a great amount of stress at the time of your death.
“Your executor and survivors are relieved of the responsibility of planning, managing, and if you choose to pre-pay, finding the money to pay for your final arrangements at an already troubling time.”
Chapman said planning ahead means that your wishes are going to be in a contract filed at the funeral home and that they will be honoured.
“When you actually pay for it ahead of time, you freeze most of the cost. Financially it’s a sound investment.”
Chapman said at one time, when a loved one died, families banded together to take care of what needed to be done. These days, families are dispersed across the country and around the world.
“Today, I run into seniors, individuals and couples all over the Okanagan that have no family around.
“We have to start taking responsibility for our own demise. So it’s good to have a will, it’s good to have your estate, to have your financial advisor, but before any of that, someone’s going to have to make a phone call on your behalf when you die.”
A pastor for many years on the Prairies, Chapman performed his first funeral in the spring of 1987.
“I was in full-time ministry for 17 years. And in those years I performed a lot of funerals and counselled a lot of families,” he said. “Often the family would request that the minister would accompany them to the funeral home when there is a loss, so I’m there for moral support and encouragement and I would watch to see what goes on behind the scenes.
“If it’s a sudden loss, everyone’s in shock, and the first thing that the funeral director says is ‘I’m so sorry for your loss, but before we do anything else, we need all this personal information about your mom.’”
The problem, said Chapman, is that many people don’t know their mother’s maiden name, or their grandparents’ first names.
“And we can’t issue the death certificate without this. Some people get angry with us and say, ‘don’t you realize we’ve just had this loss.’
“But when arrangements have been taken care of, it’s a different story. So actually the last memory they have of their loved one is taking responsibility for themselves as an act of love towards their family.”
Alternatives began in the Fraser Valley in 1992 and is now the largest independently owned funeral home in western Canada. Chapman joined the company 12 years ago.
“Our motto is ‘Our guidance, your decisions.’ It’s our job to give you the best guidance that I can in your situation, but ultimately you decide.
“Once the paper work is done, I always ask them the same question, ‘So Mr. Wilson, how do you feel?’ Their response is always, ‘I feel great, I feel like a burden is lifted off my shoulders.’”
A father of three grown children, with his first grandchild on the way, Chapman loves his work, even if most people have a difficult time understanding it.
“Even though people feel really sorry for me because all I do is talk about death, actually it’s about life.
“In this industry, in order for us to be successful, we have to know how to care. You can’t look at this as a job and succeed, so that’s why some of the most amazing people you’ll ever meet work at a funeral home because they see people at their most difficult.”
As a pastor, Chapman loved to share the gospel of Jesus Christ. And while he is no longer in a formal position of ministry, he continues to share the good news of a different kind.
“By helping people plan ahead I give them the peace of mind knowing that everything’s taken care of. I get a real charge out of knowing that I have just helped someone do something so loving for their family members who are going to be the recipients of this beautiful gift down the road. That gives me huge personal satisfaction.”
If you’d like to learn more about planning ahead, Chapman will be at an information kiosk at the Village Green Centre Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, beside Peoples Jewellers. He will also have information on will-writing and the role of the executor, and a raffle to win a full estate planning and executor’s tool kit.
