As Alcoholics Anonymous gets ready for its 41st Annual Roundup, two members share their stories.
Linda, who is new to the program, and Ted, who marks 45 years of sobriety on Monday, talk about how the 12-Step program changed their lives.
LINDA
“What I have found is that the transition to retirement has been really challenging,” said Linda, who took early retirement from teaching after an accident.
“Somehow, I was waiting to return to work and I’d feel sorry for myself and sip wine all day. When I look back on it, I can see that I had some of the characteristics of an alcoholic with trouble managing emotions, energy and setting and achieving goals. I also had a history of depression and anorexia. I felt like a victim of circumstance. I always felt like I didn’t fit in.”
She quit school before graduation and traveled and worked. She went to university and married and had children. She didn’t drink when her children were young but felt fear, anxiety and isolation.
“Sometimes I would drink impulsively. Sometimes I would not drink at all. After I had quit drinking one time, I was with some friends who were social drinkers and they noticed I wasn’t drinking and asked why. She said she couldn’t imagine stopping drinking on her own,” she said. “I could see that I thought I had the willpower to overcome this obsession of thinking about alcohol all the time. Then I had an evening of drinking and the next day I called about going to a meeting.
“I was surprised to find out that I had a disease — I had thought I was going to find out how to improve my willpower. What I found was like-minded people who understood me for the first time. I saw that they were calm and they could laugh and enjoy life without alcohol. I saw their humility and courage and strength. I wanted the treatment for this disease so I could be like them,” said Linda.
“Being in the program has allowed me to take part in life. With the steps, I don’t ruin today with feeling guilty or resentful about the past, and I don’t ruin today by worrying about the future. Several months into the program, I felt the obsession to drink lift but I understand that is different for each person.
“I keep coming back to meetings. It’s such a community Life’s way more exciting now I’ve learned to relax and trust.”
TED
“I was 28 when I got to AA,” Ted said. “What a gift God has given me to be sober for 45 years.”
He grew up on a farm in a stable family and was working on threshing crews by the time he was 15. He remembers having his first drink of homemade dandelion wine when he was in high school and wanted to get up the courage to ask a pretty girl to dance.
“I didn’t feel like I fit in but alcohol would almost make it all right. In those days it was hard to get enough alcohol,” he recalled. “The next time was New Year’s Eve and it was 35 below. I walked into the hall and couldn’t ask for a dance so I had a drink from a bottle of Seagrams 83 we had hidden in the bush. I woke up after the dance and never knew what happened. I don’t remember my grad. That should have been a warning.”
Ted joined the Royal Canadian Navy where he would trade his cigarettes to get the traditional rum ration from other sailors.
“All hell broke loose ashore. I was a blackout drinker by then. After the Navy, I tried the geographical cure and moved to Alberta to work for an oil company. Through everything, I always felt uneasy, not a part of things. In those days, you could go to work drunk or hung over and we did.”
He met a teacher he liked and they made plans to get married but she called the wedding off then went on drinking herself. Ted made another friend who would be important to him. Al became his sponsor in AA and helped him through the 12-Step program.
“For the first time in my life I was able to ask a girl out without being drunk. I met a new girlfriend and we’ve been married for 42 years now. With an Al-Anon member in your life, it enhances your life. We found there was a lot of strength in home groups in the early days when the meetings were far apart. We’ve never taken a vacation from AA or Al-Anon,” Ted said.
“I was what you’d call a confused believer. I knew there was a God but I didn’t think he’d do anything for me. I had a self-esteem problem. I had a deep look inside myself and I could see God in things that happened. I always try to help and mentor others. The sponsors are so important. That sponsor saved my life. I see that AA has two parts, the meetings and the program. You need a balance of both.
“I still remember the first AA dance I went to. As soon as the music started, everyone got up and danced. And they were sober and having a good time.”
Alcoholics Anonymous District 70’s 41st Annual Roundup takes place June 7 and 8 at St. John’s Lutheran Church, 5151 Alain Rd., Vernon, with the theme, “We are not a glum lot.”
Registration takes place Friday at 5 p.m. and Saturday at 8 a.m. Roundup features a wide variety of speakers from AA and Al-Anon. The $35 ticket includes registration, breakfast, lunch, dinner banquet and potluck desserts Friday night. Saturday afternoon features a Step Three workshop hosted by Ron W. from Gardena, Calif., while Saturday night brings fun, festivities and an ice cream social.
For more information, please call or send text to AA: Brent at 250-361-5352; Al-Anon: Mark J. at 250-308-8890. For tickets, call Brent at 250-351-5352 or ask at a Vernon AA meeting.
