Growing up in the ’80s it seemed there were only two ways to make coffee: the drip coffeemaker on every family’s kitchen counter, and the 100-cup behemoth that brewed brown sludge at hockey arenas, church functions and school concerts.
Since then, coffee culture has percolated throughout Canadian society, and it seems everyone has their own distinct brewing style. But what does it say about you? And can you align your brew style with your personality?
1. Practical planner
You thrive on efficiency, crave consistency and don’t have time to waste on morning meditations or hand-crafted creations. You need caffeine and you need it now.
Enter the programmable percolator, which makes the same reliable cup of joe day after day in batches big enough to guzzle. Set it and forget it, enjoying cup after cup as you fuel the real priorities of the day.
2. Thoughtful artist
The glass pour over with its tasteful leather collar is elegant and sophisticated, and you look a bit like a potion master as you gently soak your grinds. Is it fast? No. But you’re not in a hurry. You have time to contemplate the flavour profile of every bean as you wait for the water to boil, wait for the grounds to saturate, wait for the water to drain, and finally enjoy your timeless treat.
3. Cutting-edge gamer
Retired Stanford engineering instructor Alan Adler was in the business of inventing Frisbees and other sport toys when he invented the AeroPress in 2005. It looks like no other coffee maker, it’s hands-on and it’s adaptable, making it appealing to people like you, who love owning the latest and greatest technology. With its toy-like design and various brewing styles (raise your hand if you love the inverted process), it turns coffee into a game — and you’re winning.
4. Convenience queen
Not too big, not too small, and certainly not too much fuss — you enjoy a convenient cup of coffee without the prep or clean-up. That’s why you love your single-serve coffee maker with its perfectly portioned pods. In the mood for a cappuccino? There’s a pod for that. On a decaf kick? Swapping pods is a snap. Brew in under a minute, toss the pod in the recycling bin, and wrap your fingers around a mug of comfort that’s even more convenient than the drive-through.
5. Old World attitude
It’s not easy, but then when have easy things ever tasted the best? Your stovetop espresso maker (or maybe you call it a Bialetti or Moka Pot) is rugged and coffee-spattered, and you’ve spent years perfecting the proportions to make the perfect cup. Yes, some mornings it takes painfully long for your stove burner to get the percolations going. Yes, the sounds of those percolations are like a jungle cat growl, and sometimes spill over. Yes, that last sip can be clouded with grit. But you like to live dangerously.
6. Generous Goldilocks
You pay attention to trends and care about your coffee, but you’re not going to obsess over it. With a French Press, a just-right cup of coffee comes without too much effort, and there’s usually enough to share. You can get precise by weighing beans and setting a timer, you can keep it hot with an insulated coffee press, and you can make a litre at once so you don’t have to hoard every cup.
7. Frothy high-roller
There are two ways to be a frothy high-roller: either you buy a daily latté from your neighbourhood barista, or you’ve invested in your very own espresso machine. Either way, you enjoy a café-style cup of coffee and you’ll spare no expense to get it. Your morning ritual is precious so you’ve made it a priority, and you’re not going to hide it. And you also need it to be known that there are TWO parts to a perfect cup of coffee: the mahogany liquid and the lofty whips of the milk of your choice.
