John Archie wanted to write to heal.
The Tsq’escen (Canim Lake) member and residential school survivor wrote a post on Facebook but couldn’t send it. He wrote another and put it up before deleting it. He managed to write a few more lines and left them up. Then a few more, until finally, he started to tell his story.
“Each time I left it a little longer,” Archie, 67, said. “That’s how scary it is, to talk about stuff like that. Eventually, I passed that feeling.”
Archie has found writing – and talking – about his life experiences are a key to helping him to heal, albeit slowly, from the intergenerational trauma associated with residential schools.
This Saturday, June 19, he plans to share his story – “residential school experiences and life on the rez” – in hopes he can help others understand they’re not alone and hopefully help them to heal.
The event, to be held at 5577 Back Valley Rd. – home of the master of ceremonies Rita Giesbrecht – will kick off a prayer in Shuswap and hand-drum song, followed by a smudging ceremony. Keynote speakers include Archie, along with Roy Christopher and Mike Archie, of Tsq’escen and Bre7 Johnson, of Esk’et nation. It will then end with a prayer.
Only 60 people are allowed to physically attend the event, which is by donation. It will also be live-streamed.
“I’ll be speaking about myself and residential school experiences and growing up on the reserve,” said Archie, who attended residential school in Williams Lake in Grades 5-7. “I’m going to talk about a lot of things a lot of people may not have been able to see. There’s sexual abuse, physical abuse, food issues …”
His speech will look at the past – his grandparents and mother were residential school survivors – as well some European history and how sexual and physical abuse were normalized and continued to be passed down through the generations. Archie said he can remember being sexually abused as young as three years old by community members, even before he went to residential school.
“I look at the past to see why I am the way I am, why I became the person I became. Intergenerational trauma was a part of growing up with my grandmother, grandfather, my mother, going to residential school. They were still affected deeply by residential school – things they passed on to me,” he said.
“It’s just affected my whole life, a lot of health issues and unhappiness. I didn’t even realize some of the stuff I was going through was caused by post-traumatic stress.”
Archie said he took solace in the bottle before finally becoming sober in the mid-’90s, and now sees himself as a healer. Although his great-grandfather Felix was a medicine doctor, Archie acknowledges “a lot of people don’t understand the healing tradition of our people.”
Many have adopted the European ways by being stoic in adversity, he said, or locking up offenders rather than trying to heal them from within.
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“At one time I couldn’t even talk without crying. I hope I reach some of our people. It’ll help them understand some of the things they went through,” Archie said. “My grandson says ‘I can see the anger in your face and in your eyes.’ I’m aware of it but I’m changing. I’m healing.
“I lost all of my traditional cultures so I’m basically finding my own spirit in how to behave. I do my best as a human being. Being a healer is part of my life.”
Archie said he senses change is coming. Some of the Tsq’escen elders still have the knowledge they were taught when they were children and other members are coming back to study medicine. He would like to see a return to the old ways, remembering how the elders would invite everyone in for a cup of tea or a bowl of soup.
“People call it socialism now but it was our way of life. We had to take care of each other. We had our own doctors, healers, there was just so much independence,” he said. “I think it’s starting to come back. We’re starting to bring back tradition and culture. A lot of our life was based on the land, we were roaming people and we lived off the land. Some of our oldest elders were so gentle, so kind. They had a great way of being.
“There are many things we need to change. We cannot have the old energy anymore, we have to create the new energy and new ideas.”
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