For the record, I normally adore my colleague Katherine Mortimer. Funny, intelligent, great mother, fabulous proofreader, eternal friend.
However…
Morty (as I like to call her) announced during the always-entertaining Morning Star editorial department meeting, held, like clockwork, at 8:45 (ish) Wednesday mornings, that, for breakfast, she enjoys a toasted whole wheat English muffin topped with peanut butter, then topped with real butter.
“That’s so the peanut butter and butter can form a melty pool on top of the muffin,” said Morty.
Ewwww.
But, to each their own, right? If this is what Morty needs for her morning routine, who am I to argue?
Don’t we all have our own food quirks? And maybe, like me, more than one?
Morty lost me at “peanut butter.”
It’s not one of my favourite condiments… on its own.
I do, though, love peanut butter cookies, Reece’s Peanut Butter Cups and this dessert I make for my son and I, consisting of a cookie dough bottom, Reece’s Peanut Butter Cup in the middle and topped with brownie mix, baked in a muffin tin.
I usually end up with about, oh, two of the treats. The kid snorks down the other 10, delicious as they are.
So why is it I can eat peanut butter surrounded by chocolate or baked into a cookie, but I don’t like it on its own? I don’t eat PB and jelly sandwiches. I don’t like PB on toast (or whole wheat English muffins).
Same goes for tomato soup.
I’d rather eat Brussels sprouts than tomato soup. Yet I love tomatoes on a sandwich, baked tomatoes topped with oil, garlic and parmesan cheese.
And I do like ketchup but only on certain styles of French fries. Or, as I used to do as a teen, take two slices of bologna, cut them into cubes and take the ketchup bottle and swirl ketchup into an ‘S’ shape, making sure every cube had some red delight.
But that’s it.
I don’t like ketchup on sandwiches, on hot dogs, or other meat. I have stopped eating bologna cubes, but if I have crinkle cut fries, I have to have ketchup.
And it’s not just condiments that leave me food-quirky.
How do you eat a hamburger? Do you, like me, eat the outside of the burger first, leaving the middle to be consumed last? I was sure everybody did it that way. Apparently not.
Buffets, of course, are a food lover’s delight. So much selection, so little plate.
Thus, I take what I want and I carefully put the food on the plate, trying as best I can not to have any of the food groups touching one another.
Sitting down to eat, I will then eat one food group in its entirety.
Say I choose a green salad, potato salad, veggies, mashed potatoes and a meat. I will eat in order of least favourite to favourite. So, in this example, it would be green salad first, followed by veggies, potato salad, meat and the mashed potatoes.
Honestly, I have no idea why I do these things. I bet we all don’t. I can’t remember why I started doing these things with food, but I do.
Perhaps I can trace it back in my family to my hilarious late Uncle Norm.
This is a man who could not eat an apple – any brand of apple – without a salt shaker. Sprinkle salt on a fresh apple, then bite. Repeat.
Back to the Wednesday morning ritual here at work: every week, thanks to a schedule drawn up by sports editor Kevin Mitchell, somebody is responsible for bringing in doughnuts.
This week was Morty’s turn and she bucked tradition by bringing in scones.
All is forgiven.
