It’s the most wonderful time of the year.
That’s what the ads keep telling us, at least. And in many ways, it is.
That is, until things blow up in your face like some kind of faulty Christmas cracker.
I’m mercifully oblivious to most of the social conventions — the must-haves and the must-dos — that accompany the season for hard-core Christmas enthusiasts.
I don’t really understand, for example, why a woman being interviewed on the radio in mid-December placed her 1-10 holiday stress level at an 11 — too many viewings of Spinal Tap, maybe? — when mine is more like a 2.
Things will get done or they won’t; dinner might be amazing or simply edible; the cat might eat (and then barf up) chunks of decorative plastic foliage or she might not. (Spoiler: she will).
It helps to have a small family, with a uniform mindset. We’re together, we’re eating too much, enjoying a few glasses of Christmas cheer, playing games and watching Cousin Eddie empty his chemical toilet into the Griswolds’ storm sewer for the umpteenth time.
So, what’s to stress about?
Well, plenty, apparently.
An editor’s inbox offers a veritable holiday buffet of issues you didn’t know you were supposed to be fretting over each December.
One that arrived last week warned of the pros and cons of “closet gifting.”
Although I’m familiar with the practice — even a bit guilty of having employed it from time to time — I’d never actually heard the term.
Essentially, you buy generic items on sale all year long and store them in a closet until you need to produce a Christmas gift at the last minute.
When someone you hadn’t thought to buy for arrives bearing gifts — voila! — you whip out a pre-purchased item and then act casual, like you’d been planning to give it to them all along.
It seems like the perfect solution — and honestly, it is.
For me, at least, it’s far less awkward to give a gift to someone who hasn’t reciprocated than it is to be the one standing there with a present in hand and nothing to offer in return.
But it turns out a lot of people are offended when they receive a gift that betrays a lack of thought or effort on the part of the giver.
One assumes the level of hurt feelings will vary according to the nature of the relationship.
A hastily wrapped box of chocolates from an acquaintance you see only a handful of times each year is a bit different, obviously, than unwrapping a drug store-quality treetop angel from your brother on Christmas morning, for example (true story).
It’s a situation we’d all love to avoid, but how, exactly, does that conversation go?
“Are we exchanging gifts this year?” can be an awkward lead-in, depending on whether it had occurred to the other party that it was even a consideration.
“Great, back to the mall on a Saturday. That’ll be fun.”
Like most of my friends, I don’t want or expect anything for Christmas this year.
If someone sees something small and thinks of me, lovely. Meanwhile, I’ve got my eyes peeled for anything that might have special meaning to someone I know.
Maybe I’ll find something, maybe not.
Maybe someone will see something and think of me, maybe not.
It honestly doesn’t matter.
You really want to give me a meaningful gift this year? Be a dear and offer to clean up after the cat.
