Over the years I have been troubled seeing so many relationships hitting a dead end. Separation, divorce, heartache.
I believe one of main reasons is frequent change of boyfriends/girlfriends. With each new encounter, especially if sex was involved, part of their respective minds, emotions, memories, will and trust become glued to the other side, with a lost ability to trust, work on or develop a lasting relationship. Think of this: How many of first loves survive the first year? How many of these failures are a blow to at least one side?
Test yourself and your spouse-to-be. While dating, do you hide your dark side, weaknesses and shortcomings? Remember, once you end fishing and start your life together all those hidden things will surface. Before marriage, sex or children come, are you both willing to part and remain friends? Can you wait for sex until you publicly cement your courtship in marriage? If not, it is safe to say that relationship is built on a faulty foundation, be it appearance, lust, covetousness, lack of commitment, peer pressure, years passing or any other wrong reason.
Life is not perfect. People are not perfect. Will you love your possible spouse with all his or her shortcomings? Can you fully trust and rely on him or her?
Be careful who you are dating, know each other and your respective families well enough to avoid disastrous surprises. Become friends first, then friends for life with clear shared common goals, working on coming problems together, helping and complementing each other.
Before you make that one person special to you, make sure you are special for him or her.
Vladimir Certik believes that thinking outside the box and engaging fellow citizens may bring simple solutions to complex problems. The West Creston resident can be reached at 250-402-0055.
