Last Monday, February 10, was Family Day. I missed it. I doubt that I was the only one to do so. It’s a fairly new statuary holiday, and many calendars don’t yet list it. Nor do we talk about it much, or prepare for it, or have pre-established rituals around it, as we do with many other major holidays. And, after all, this year it was eclipsed by the major religious Super Bowl Sunday just the week before!
I’m thinking it should not be a once-a-year day anyway. That’s not enough. I’m thinking about the too many families I encounter in my work as our local RCMP Victim Services coordinator. The wives or husbands and children who live in fear of their abusive spouse or dad or mom, who may explode at any time and through words or deeds threaten or belittle or physically harm them. We call it domestic abuse, or domestic violence. When such violence erupts in a household, it’s a Bad Family Day. And it’s remembered and anticipated every day after by the victimized recipients. They know it can be repeated any time, and without any warning. It has no special place on the calendar. I pray for the day when it no longer even exists, anywhere, on any calendar, in any family.
In the meantime, let me remind our valley residents of some of the local resources that help address this kind of violence: (1) 911 or RCMP 250-499-5511. (2) RCMP Victim Services 250-499-5511. (3) Stop The Violence Women’s Counseling, Children Who Witness Abuse Counseling, Family Support Program, Child and Youth Mental Health Services 250-499-2352. (4) Change For Good Counseling (for abusers who want help their abusive behaviors) 250-488-5939. (5) The Lower Similkameen Proactive Violence Prevention Project (community education, awareness, and action) 250-499-2352. Or contact me to learn more about any of these resources.
The bright side is the hint that we may be making progress. My program, for instance, shows a sharp decline in domestic violence clients in the last year – from a previous 53 per cent of my caseload to under 30 per cent.
This Friday is Valentine’s Day. I won’t miss it. But I’m thinking that it also should not be once-a-year. How about extending it to every day, and expanding it from romance to the broader loves of human compassion and indiscriminate kindness? That, in fact, would be the best way to stop the violence – to end bad family days, and to make all days Happy Family Days.
Here, in the simply profound words of Joshua, age eight, is a Valentine thought for all of us:
“I think we all kind of invent love when we’re nice to each other.”
Ron Shonk is the Coordinator for the Proactive Violence Prevention Project, services provided through LSCSS – Lower Similkameen Community Services
