Up until the First World War distinguished Canadian citizens were rewarded with royal honours: knighthoods, baronetcies and peerages.
But in 1917, William Nickle put in his five cents worth championing a bill to stop granting those titles. Rumour has it that he promoted the idea out of spite after failing to get a knighthood for his father-in-law. Whatever his motivation, the bill passed the Commons but died in the Senate. To everyone’s astonishment, Prime Minister Borden acceded to Nickel’s demands. But I’m not surprised.
Sir Robert was himself knighted in 1915. And there’s nothing quite so alluring as being a member of a club nobody else can join. All I can say about him is that his official portrait looks like a hundred bucks!
Prime Minister R.B. Bennett disdained the Nickle resolution. In the mid ’30s, he recommended knighthoods for Dr. Frederick Banting, the discoverer of insulin, and a few other worthy candidates. The Liberals promptly ended the practice when they returned to power. Poor R.B. had been too humble to submit his own name. So he never did get a knighthood. But he was awarded the title of Viscount Bennett upon moving to England. Not a bad consolation prize for losing an election.
In 1967, the Pearson government instituted a new honour known as the Order of Canada. It’s an excellent accolade, but why not combine it with a knighthood? Some readers may vehemently disagree, but hear me out. If we include the proviso that prime ministers not be honoured until they leave office, wouldn’t it make a fine inducement to help rid us of the ones we don’t like? “Sorry, sir, but you can’t be knighted until you retire.” It’s a regal twist on the old saying, “How can I miss you if you won’t go away?”
And what about provincial premiers? I suggest we give them a lower honour: The women will be accorded the title ‘Lady ‘and the men ‘Esquire.’ What fun it would have been if Nancy Betkowski had been elected Alberta premier in 1993 instead of Ralph Klein. Upon her marriage to Hilliard MacBeth she would have received a new moniker: Lady MacBeth.
There are other benefits to bringing back titles. Think of what it would do for our film industry! Celebrities love heaping praise on themselves. Why else would they have so many award shows? Surely they’d jump at the chance to move to a Canada that awarded knighthoods! Then again, we’d need extra border guards to keep out the mothers from Toddlers and Tiaras. My daughter the princess!
Parenthetically, isn’t it obvious that we should honour Sir Wayne Gretsky, Sir Paul Henderson (why on earth is this man not in the hall of fame?) and Dame Hayley Wickenheiser? That way we’d have some real hockey knights in Canada this fall.
On a final note, perhaps we could also honour the lowly columnist who came up with the idea of restoring titles. Far be it from me to propose it. Modesty forbids. But, the name, “Sir Raymond Smit,” does have a certain ring to it. Wouldn’t you agree, Prime Minister Harper?
Or should I say, “Sir Stephen?”
Ray Smit is a regular humour columnist for The News; and writes the occasional political columns as well.
