When I logged on to Facebook over my lunch break on Monday I scrolled past what felt like hundreds of #metoo posts.
It’s both heartbreaking and familiar.
The idea behind the hashtag is that if every woman who has been sexually harassed or assaulted used the hashtag, then maybe it would illustrate the magnitude of the problem.
Alyssa Milano tweet
It’s kind of sad that we seem to need this visual representation to understand how far-reaching this is, when I, and I think most of my peers, know that all women have been impacted by this.
It is a boy in Grade 6 grabbing your newly developing breasts, or your friend’s grandpa slapping your ass at her birthday party, or a friend of a friend offering you a ride home from a party and then getting mad and accusing you of being racist when you turn down his sexual advances, or a man on the street yelling “show me your p****” as you walk by, or a school board trustee asking you to sit on his knee at an event you are covering for the newspaper, or a random guy on the street starting a seemingly friendly conversation with “hello” and “you’re beautiful” and then swearing angrily after you when you smile politely but keep walking. It is a complete stranger coming up behind you on the dance floor, grabbing your hips and grinding up against you.
These incidents, and probably more that I can’t recall right this second, made me feel first shocked, then scared, dirty, out of control, threatened and ashamed of myself and my body.
Tweet 1
I knew I wasn’t alone. I have talked in disgust about these things happening with friends. But it seems it is time that we all acknowledge it on a greater scale. Because just this past weekend, when talking to a friend of a friend who was drunk, I laughed when I felt uncomfortable instead of calling him out or defending myself.
It’s called de-escalating.
I know that if I respond negatively, assertively or angrily to an unwanted comment or advance, it could make things worse.
So I giggle noncommittally, avoid eye contact and try to remove myself from the situation.
I recognize that not all men are like this, but I would be very surprised if you could find a woman who hasn’t been harassed and/or assaulted.
So what can we do? Is this acceptable? Some food for thought and hopefully, action.
Tweet2
Jocelyn