Dear Editor:
I have always been a fan of the written word. As a writer myself, often times putting things down on paper has helped to clarify thoughts and feelings.
Lately I have been noticing how easy it can be for written words to be misconstrued or misunderstood. This happened to me recently after sharing a few political posts regarding the U.S. president on Facebook.
My American cousins, who support Trump, commented each time. For me one of those comments crossed a line because of its vulgarity and tone.
My written response was to suggest that if they found my posts offensive, they could either “unfriend” me or scroll past.
This unleashed a tirade of private messages, where I was accused of, among other things, breaking family ties that have gone back for generations!
The only way to end the war of words was for me to reassure them that I would always love them as family and to say “I am sorry that you felt hurt by what I said, that was not my intent.”
Another example of something similar caught my attention while reading a letter to the editor in the June 28 issue of the Summerland Review.
A Summerland councillor was defending his position for not attending a business awards ceremony. He gave some valid reasons but then ended his letter by accusing a local business man of “advancing his own interests by taking cheap shots in the press.”
I had read the letter to the editor the previous week, written by the business man, and could not recall any “cheap shots” being taken, so I reread the letter.
The writer stated facts, that at the Thompson Okanagan Business Excellence Awards, “Summerland had no representative from our elected officials in attendance,” and that he personally had “not heard any congratulations or acknowledgment for being nominated from the District of Summerland.”
The writer also went on to share his thoughts and feelings about this situation.
As a reader, I had not interpreted these statements the same way the councillor had. I also thought how sad this was because in the past I have written stories about both of these men and the fine contributions they have made to our community. I wondered if they had talked face to face and if they had, would they have understood each other’s feelings better?
I also read with interest the story about a local restaurant closing its doors. There had been much talk on social media about this, some of it biased against the landlord and the new business that was planned for the location.
A petition against them was already circulating.
Upon reading the article which gives more detail and both sides of the story, I learned that the owners had failed to contact the landlord by the end of February, in order to renew the lease, which was a requirement of their written lease agreement.
Not only that, but they had also listed their business for sale “near the beginning of the year.”
Could this perhaps have had anything to do with the landlord’s decision, I wondered.
I don’t know any of the people involved in this dispute personally, but I do think this is a sad note for a successful business to end on and a very unfair start for the proposed new business.
What I have learned from my own experience and from these others is how important clear, open, honest communication can be, but also how easily our written words can cause offence or be misunderstood. When we talk to each other face to face, we are able to read expressions, hear the tone and pick up on feelings. We have the opportunity of clarifying ourselves or perhaps softening our stance.
In this age of social media, e-mail, texts, blogs and fake news perhaps we will have to re-examine our use of the written word.
I know I will.
Carla McLeod
Summerland
