My beautiful friend has a stunning antique hourglass on the mantle above her fireplace that I admire whenever I go to her home. She hates it.
“I feel like it’s mocking me,” she explained, after I complimented her on it during my last visit. “I already know my time is running out, I don’t need to be constantly reminded.”
I was surprised for a couple of reasons. Firstly that she would have something she didn’t like so prominently displayed where it would catch her eye every day. And secondly that at the young age of 38, and in excellent health, she’d even have that reaction.
“Why don’t you give it away or sell it?” I asked, more than willing to take the detested piece home with me.
“It’s a cherished heirloom and important to Mike,” she said of her husband. “It’s the only thing he has left from his mother’s side of the family.”
With that answered, I told her one of the reasons I loved it so much in the hopes she might like it better.
“To me it symbolizes change,” I explained.
“Once all the sand has trickled down to the bottom and there’s nothing left at the top, I get a charge out of flipping it over and giving it a fresh start.”
She looked at me like I was speaking a foreign language.
“None of us escapes life alive,” I said, butchering one of my dad’s recent quotes. “And none of us know how much time we have. We might as well enjoy every moment the best we can. And if we sometimes fail, we can try again on the next flip.”
I’m not always such a Pollyanna. I’ve been thinking about death and my own mortality lately as well.
Perhaps that’s a symptom of getting older and attending more funerals than weddings.
“Don’t you worry you’ll run out of time and not accomplish your goals?” she asked. “I feel myself regretting all the time I wasted when I was young, and wishing I’d done things differently.”
I had to admit that sometimes I do feel like that and I can get stuck in a negative rut just as much as her or anyone else. Those feelings never serve me well and I consciously try to change my outlook to a more positive one.
I also thought about her implication that she was no longer young. Almost 10 years her senior, I’ve always thought of her as a kid.
But impressions in regard to age are so relative. To a five-year-old I might seem ancient, and to a 95-year-old I could seem like a baby. It’s how we’re feeling ourselves that makes the real difference.
Gazing at an hourglass leaves a further impression on me as well. With the top sand symbolizing the future and the bottom symbolizing the past, concentrating on the middle part where the sand slowly passes through the narrow opening reminds me to live in the moment as much as I can. It’s amazing how often I forget to do that.
Since our conversation my friend says she has a new appreciation for that lovely heirloom on her mantle and she’s now turning it over quite frequently.
“I’ve been giving myself a lot of new beginnings lately,” she said. “Psychologically it’s just what I needed.”
A positive attitude can’t solve all our problems, but it can help us create happier, more fulfilling lives. It can also give us the energy to accomplish our goals, no matter how much time we have left.
Lori Welbourne is a syndicated columnist. She can be contacted at LoriWelbourne.com.
