Like any mom, the one thing in life I value more than anything is my child. She takes the cake as No.1.
So even though the majority of my time is spent at my paying job, it is not the top job.
Parenting is the single most important position in my life. No, it’s not always the most pleasant, and there’s very little gratitude and zero compensation or pay. But working for hugs and kisses is OK with me. Oh, and whose heart doesn’t melt when they hear their child say: “I love you.”
I still consider myself a rookie at this mommy-business, with only two-and-a-half years experience. And just when I think I’ve got the swing of things, a new learning curve is thrown my way.
So I will be the first to admit that my parenting skills are far from perfect.
Then again, I think most parents, at least those with any humility, will admit that they are sometimes flying by the seat of their pants at this parenting stuff.
Therefore in trying to be the best mom I can be, I figured I could learn a thing or two about the job. But it’s not like there’s a degree in parenting offered at the college. So I went to the next best thing.
Last year I took two courses on parenting through the North Okanagan Youth and Family Services Society (NOYFSS), and am currently enrolled in my third. I also took part in a one-evening workshop at Stepping Stones.
NOYFSS caters to the entire community, offering free programs which promote, nurture and protect the healthy development of our children, youth and their families.
I can say from experience that the education, insight and support have made me a better mom, wife and all around person.
It’s not as if I was a horrible person before, but we can all always use a little improvement.
Some of what I learned is just common sense, but it’s the stuff we sometimes forget and need to be reminded of.
Like the importance of nurturing our children. Obviously all parents strive to be caring and attentive, but our hectic schedules often leave us scrambling for time.
So it’s no wonder that when my kid wants me to push her on the swing for two hours every single day, I can get a little testy because there’s still dinner to be made, laundry to be done, etc.
What I didn’t realize is that my daughter’s desire for attention was affecting her attitude. As one instructor called it, her ‘love cup,’ was drained and needed some refuelling.
So we’ve compromised, I spend some quality time with her every day and she’s learning that it can be fun helping mom get stuff done too.
Aside from a happier kid, the biggest thing I’ve gotten out of these classes is an improved appreciation for myself. I used to beat myself up a lot thinking that my daughter’s behaviour was solely a reflection of my parenting, and that I wasn’t a good mom. But the fact is I, and all parents, are doing the best we can – after all, it is the toughest job out there.
Unfortunately the duty of mom doesn’t come with much appreciation.
So with Mother’s Day just a little more than two weeks away, I’d like to remind all the dads, kids and anyone else who appreciates what moms do to let them know. Just a simple ‘thank you’ or ‘you’re the best’ will suffice.
And don’t forget the hugs and kisses.
– jennifer@vernonmorningstar.com
