As a parent, you want to protect your children from the sadness of the world.
It’s a noble thought, done with the best of intentions. The unfortunate reality is that no matter how hard you try to insulate your children, there is sadness, hurt and pain in every life.
And that’s why I made the decision to read the much-lauded book, Bridge to Terabithia, with my daughter.
Clearly, the book had an impact on me from my childhood, as it was one which instantly came to mind when I thought about books I had loved reading. For those who might not have read the classic novel, it’s a realistic a depiction of family life and a special friendship that evolves between misfits Jess and Leslie. I love the book because the people are so real. They worry about money, siblings hit each other, there’s social awkwardness and bickering and relationships that grow in the unlikeliest of circumstance.
My daughter eagerly anticipated the evolution of the story as we read chapters each night. It was difficult watching her become attached to the characters, while knowing that the story is building up to a tragic death.
But I’ve never believed in glossing over the truth. When our beloved pet cocker spaniel died, we had to have the painful and teary discussion that they wouldn’t be coming back and that nothing, not even a wish to Santa, could return them to us.
Turns out, the topic of sad books is quite a hot button among parents. Loss and grief make most of us uncomfortable and handing those emotions to our children, even between the pages of a fictional story, can be controversial.
“There’s enough sadness in the world,” one parent remarked to me, “They don’t need to read about it.”
Another parent was wary of turning her kids off reading by giving them material that might make them feel sad or upset, rather than lighter, funnier material.
Both are valid points. And parents certainly need to consider the impact of reading material, as well as television or movies, for their individual child. I guess I made the choice to read books like Charlotte’s Web, which discusses loss of a friend, even if it is about a pig and a spider, and Bridge to Terabithia at this time because reading sad books provides opportunities to talk about real life happenings. Life is complex, emotions are often mixed and happy endings are not guaranteed. Knowing about sadness also has a flip side – recognizing joy, love and hope.
It is equally important to expose children to these emotions in books. I can not imagine a childhood being complete without reading about Judy Blume’s Superfudge, Beverly Cleary’s Beezus and Ramona or Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. But experiencing sadness through the pages of a book also provides parents with a precious opportunity to discuss feelings with their child.
Did my daughter cry after reading the final chapters of Bridge to Terabithia?
Yes, but she did it in my arms.
