There should be some especially green lawns in the Cowichan Valley (and across Canada) this spring. And some tidier garages. Perhaps even a bit of a baby boom in the early part of 2017.
What, you ask, could cause such an outbreak of fastidiousness and friendliness?
Well, for the first time since 1970, there will be no Canadian teams in the National Hockey League playoffs. Since then, Canada has had at least two clubs in the post-season every year but two (2014, when the Montreal Canadiens made a run to the semi-finals, and 1973, when the Habs won it all).
Sure, there are lots of fans of other clubs who will be glued to the tube when their team is playing. And hockey poolsters will offer at least passing interest throughout, though that interest will be driven by financial gain.
But many fans, especially the casual ones, won’t pay nearly as much attention without a Canadian club involved. The general rule of thumb for those fans seems to be, if your club is out, let’s hope another Canadian franchise wins the Cup. (Note this doesn’t apply, ever, to the Maple Leafs… but that’s another column).
This hasn’t happened since 1993.
The only good thing about the lack of a Canadian team in the post-season is the fact there will not be an overabundance of schlubs driving around with silly car flags. Every year, I feel compelled to hike up my pants to my chest and snivel about this.
The handbook is clear. Driving around with the dopey flags on your minivan, SUV or cute little Beetle is a violation. It is only acceptable if you purchase an old warhorse of a vehicle (think Ricky’s wagon in Trailer Park Boys) and paint it or adorn with all the flags you want. Again, that’s not me, that’s straight from the handbook.
It’s also again worthwhile to provide my annual reminder that if you are wearing a team jersey sporting the name and number of a player younger than you who is not a blood relative, you are a loser. Handbook stuff again that means if you’re a pudgy, balding 45-year-old dude or dudette who isn’t part of the Connor McDavid family tree, you may not wear an Oilers ‘97’ jersey.
Slipping into a three-sizes-too-small Lee Fogolin throwback, however, is perfectly acceptable. And, as in previous years, I feel obligated to point out the ‘Studly 69’ or ‘Boozer .08’ jerseys are not clever and are also on the banned list.
As awful as it sounds, at least there will be some benefit to having zero Canadian teams in the playoffs. Fewer handbook violations has to be worth something.
That and the tidy garages.
