The day just before my mother passed away, I had the distinct privilege of being able to have a true heart to heart conversation with her.
Though I have known her my whole life, we had never had a conversation like this, for she knew that her end was near.
Though her condition was not very strong, she was able to talk to me with great clarity and precise simplicity.
It was the last time I talked with her. I will never forget that time together.
It was a time of great honesty, vulnerability and love between mother and her son.
There is one thing that she said that I’ll never forget and it drives me still today.
She said to me that no matter what I choose to do or choose not to do, I need to understand one simple rule: In everything you do, say and think you will always be doing one of two things—building or destroying. Nothing else.
She went on further by saying that with every action you undertake, be that towards yourself or another you are either building or destroying.
There is no gray and there is no in-between.
If you choose not to do an action the same results—building or destroying.
She said all choices should take place through compassion for yourself and empathy for others.
The same can be said for the power of the spoken word. By choosing your words, you choose to either build or destroy.
Relationships are nothing more than communication. And our relationships are only as good as our communication.
The words we choose for ourselves and the way we choose to talk to ourselves during our internal dialogue will either be building or destroying, nothing else.
It seems almost too simple, but I find it to be a truth. We have the power to choose and if we choose to build ourselves up or another with the kind words, an action or the way we regard them or ourselves than that will be the result.
Conversely, if we choose to destroy that will be our outcome, as that was our choice.
Take one day of your life as a personal challenge. Spend that 24 hours reflecting on all that you do, all that you say and all that you think, and ask yourself how much time are you spending building and how much time are you spending destroying.
The results could prove to be very important to you and your life.
A life is far too precious and is only granted temporarily, as my mother taught me. She passed away the next morning after our conversation.
Remember, there is no gray, there is no in-between there is only building or destroying. The power is yours—as it always has been.
