Editor:
Re: Parents plead for answers, May 6.
When I looked the front page of the Peace Arch News, two things happened to me. First, I broke into tears, and I saw myself and my wife’s pain looking back at me.
My wife and I have gone through that incredible pain I see on the faces of Wayne Bell and Cynthia Allaire-Bell.
I am in tears right now as I type this on the screen. The RCMP on Jan. 6, 1996 knocked on our door at 2:30 a.m. to give us the news that our son, Matthew, had been in a serious car accident about three hours earlier and was at Royal Columbian Hospital having surgery. They said he was in very serious condition and we should get there right away. They told us to drive safely.
Our son did not die like the Bells’, but he was very near to it for 12 days. I had heard some of the news about the Bells’ son, Devon, but had no idea it was the son of a longtime friend who I got to know through work.
Wayne always stopped and asked me how Matthew was doing, and he did it with real compassion and really listened. I shared important moments with him, including one when my wife, after leaving the hospital, parked and cried for about three hours. She did not think she would have the strength to carry on after so many days of Matthew’s suffering. At her lowest point, she asked God into her life to give her strength for the incredible journey she was pulled into. She felt her body give in and an incredible peace enter her and she felt filled up with it and she knew she could do it.
Matthew is 34 now. He is paralyzed and blind on his left side, as he had a brain injury and a stroke from the accident. After 2½ years in institutions, he lived with us until a year and a half ago and is now living in assisted living. He is with older people but he is doing well and he loves it there. He has gained many grandparents.
So this dark cloud in our life has had an incredible lining. You know about this, Wayne. I pray that God is watching over you both now and this journey you have embarked on gives you a real purpose in your life, and that is fighting this kind of violence in our society.
I’m behind you both 100 per cent.
On the same page in the paper is a picture of Kassandra Kaulius, another young person’s life taken needlessly in what seems an impaired-driving accident (Driver seen running from deadly crash scene).
A friend of mine was at the scene and phoned 911. She wanted to help Kassandra if she was able, if only to give her comfort at the end. Your paper said she died instantly, but you just don’t know in the end if some comforting words might have been heard.
So here I am with three stories that have involved me in different ways, and I have more. As more and more of this sort of thing happens, less and less people aren’t isolated from them. It could be your family, neighbour, co-worker, or just being a friend of someone who has been affected by a tragedy. Until it hits you, you may just not get it. We need to get to know and care for our neighbours, as we all have families. So look at your families and keep on top of what your youth are into.
Law enforcement has its work cut out for them. Until our judges and court system get real, we need families to get real. I know we all think it’s someone else’s kid, but we should know better. It could be just minutes away when you get that knock on the door or a phone call, and it is someone you love who has been taken away.
Brian Lauder, Surrey
