Here I sit at the end of another month quitting just as I’m getting started.
It’s getting harder and harder to quit at the end of the month. Tae Kwon Do is particularly hard because it has the steepest learning curve I’ve met on my journey from gym to gym.
When first I went to the Black Belt Academy, I tripped over my own feet as I tried to follow along in the footsteps of those beside me or before me. I could kick someone in the shins fairly well, but anything above illegal territory in a bout would have put me back on my butt, which would have both it and my ego smarting.
And while I still can’t quite kick head height, or higher as some of the students do, my kicks have risen and I can follow along. No longer do I stare, slightly wide eyed, at Joel if he says turning kick. I know what it is and how to do it, even if the kick comes out a bit muddled compared to the crisp, fabric-snapping kicks of the red or black belts.
Finally I can take a little pride in what I can achieve, maybe challenge another belt in another month, but alas, such long terms dreams are all for nought for this journalist.
First world problems, I know.
Spurring this is the end of the month evaluations, in which Joel was very kind to my sub-Van Damme flexibility and off-kilter kicks.
Mentions of yellow belts excited me. I mean, who wants to walk into the class with nothing but white? At least a yellow belt says I’m more dangerous than a squirrel.
But evaluations, there’s a nightmare inducing word that will slam you back to that elementary kid you were, trying desperately to hide your report card from your parents.
But this time you get your report card in front of a group of your peers, as they look on and (in my head) silently judge me.
Or at least that’s what you think until you realize they’ve all been there before. That doesn’t make it any less nerve racking, which is exactly what Joel Kolenchuk wants – you need to be able to use your skills no matter how nervous you are.
So now, report card in hand, I wave good bye, essentially leaving grade school after kindergarten. I’ve got napping down pat and I even play well with others, but the more complex maneuvers, the maneuvers you get into Tae Kwon Do to do, are still beyond me.
Stay in school kids.
Next up I will truly step out into the beyond. For the last three clubs I’ve had some idea what I’m supposed to be learning: boxing is punching; gymnastics is flipping; tae kwon do is kicking.
But what about athletic pole dancing?
I’ve seen the pictures of Kolenchuk and Jenny Phillips and I feel no more enlightened as the things they do look impossible. I mean, I can probably jump up and spin around the pole, but I have a feeling there’s more to it than that.
If your just as confused and interested about the sport as I am, join me December 1 at 6 p.m. at the Black Belt Academy for the Vile Pole open house, and step out of your comfort zone.
Jonas Gagnon is a reporter for the Observer
