By Tim Collins
This is the story of a courageous man who has travelled a tough road to find himself.
His name is Eli Mitchell.
He lives in Sidney and two years ago, at 62 years old, he chose to transition from being a woman to a man. But before we talk about Eli, let’s consider a little background.
The evolving nature of gender identity has galvanized opinions around the world and, some would say, created a disproportionate level of concern on the subject. Canadians have not been immune to this phenomenon.
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A 2023 Angus Reid survey found more than half (56 per cent) of Canadians are entrenched in their view that individuals should be identified as male or female – while 34 per cent said that is too limiting – and hate crimes against the 2SLGBTQIA+ community are on the rise, according to Canadians United Against Hate.
The 2021 census and information compiled by Statistics Canada found that one in 300 people in Canada aged 15 and older identified as transgender or non-binary.
Protests that mirror the transphobia, biphobia and homophobia wave that has engulfed parts of the United States have been on the rise in Canada. Books have been banned while protests and threats of violence have been on the rise.
Within that context, let’s get back to Mitchell.
Elizabeth Mitchell moved to Sidney in January 2018 after retiring from a career as a radio operator for the Canadian Coast Guard.
She started attending St. Paul’s United Church and became a valued volunteer, joining the property committee and then branching out to take on other volunteer jobs in the community such as driving seniors to their medical appointments.
Then life changed.
“I was on a cruise in 2022 and something happened,” Mitchell said. “I can’t explain it, but something happened. Eli woke up and I realized that what I was doing just wasn’t working. That’s when I came out to myself.”
It wasn’t long after that, returning home, Mitchell announced his epiphany to the congregation of his church.
“I stood up in church one day – and I had no idea that this was coming – and I went up to the mike and told them [that I wanted to transition]. It was something I just needed to do.”
According to Mitchell, this awakening took a long time coming.
“I grew up as a girl but never felt like a girl or, later, a woman. I was definitely never a lady,” Mitchell said. “If someone had called me that, I would have slugged them.”
“When I was a little kid, I wanted my mother to put a fly in my pajamas. She wouldn’t do it,” Mitchell added. “In grade four at school, I always wanted to line up with the boys. I liked going out when I was eight or nine wearing shorts and no top, just like the other boys. In high school, I wanted to take shop instead of home economics. The list goes on, but all the markers were always there.”
And in terms of sexual attraction, things were equally confusing.
“I was never a lesbian. I’m not attracted to women; I’m attracted to men. But all the boyfriends I’d had had not been right because they were straight. I was attracted to gay guys, but they were not accessible to me.”
Mitchell also relayed how he’d always wanted a beard (he has one now) and how he finally has been able to join a men’s choir, something he’d wanted to do for 30 years.
But beyond the numerous ‘markers’, Mitchell said he’d always known he was not in the right body.
After coming out to the community, Mitchell started his hormone therapy and began his surgical transition. He also changed his name to Eli and was re-baptized under that name.
And while Mitchell reports that he is now happy with himself, perhaps for the first time in his life, he doesn’t see himself as an advocate for the trans-community or for 2SLGBTQIA+ issues.
“I won’t stand on a soapbox and try to change people’s minds about things; all I know is what was right for me,” Mitchell said.
Asked about his feelings on the anti-trans sentiment that seems to be on the rise, he’s philosophic.
“It saddens me,” Mitchell said. “Understand that I didn’t have a choice. It wasn’t me making a choice. It would have been a choice not to do it once I had woken up. If I can just talk to people openly as I meet them and maybe change a few minds or educate some people, then I’ve done my job.”
And while Mitchell is now at peace with his transition, he wondered how the community had reacted.
“When I made my announcement in church, all I felt was the love and acceptance all around me,” Mitchell said.
Reverend Cheryl Black confirmed Mitchell’s perception.
“I don’t think there was a single person (in the congregation) that was negative about it,” Black said. “Elizabeth was well known by the congregation and people didn’t know exactly what it meant… nor, I suppose, did Eli. We just said, ‘Whatever this transition is, we love you; whatever happens’.”
“People can now see the difference in his zest for life. Becoming himself has released energy and his enthusiasm for life. He now has an anticipation of what the days are going to bring and is comfortable in how he thinks and presents himself. It’s in congruence with who he’s always been.”
Mitchell’s neighbour (who asked to go unnamed) agrees.
“I’ve known Eli since 2015 and I’m very happy for him. He seems so much happier,” said the neighbour. “It takes some courage. Even if he isn’t facing people who openly take him on right now, you know that he’s going to encounter some at some point…even if it’s just microaggressions.”
The neighbour is particularly relevant to the situation since, more than two years ago, one of his two sons began the transition process and is now identified as a girl.
“It’s been apparent for years that she is trapped in the wrong body. She’s on hormone blockers now and we are working with her to allow her the time to develop the maturity she needs to make her final decisions,” he said. “This fall, she’ll be attending a new school where some of the kids know her, but for the most part everyone has been very supportive.”
Mitchell spoke about witnessing this transition as an important, perhaps critical factor in his own awakening.
“I saw this little girl doing this very hard thing and I saw that she had the courage to do what I wished I’d done when I was young,” said Mitchell. “There are people who oppose transitioning and come up with excuses like the (monetary) cost to society. My response is that you can pay those costs, or you can deal with the costs of cleaning up after people who turn to drugs and alcohol to deal with a broken life. Even worse, you can deal with suicides.”
“All I know is that I’m happy now,” said Mitchell. “I know that I won’t be dying in the wrong body.”
