ANDREW HOLOTA: What makes a good woman, according to men

The past couple of columns in this corner have related to relationships, including ‘the things that make a good man, according to women.’The next obvious instalment in the series is, “What makes a good woman, according to men?”Initially, I was reluctant to tread this path, anticipating the futility of getting any responses I could actually publish.Call me foolish, but I proceeded anyway.Predictably, I got the wolfish “heh heh heh,” reaction, but when pressed, my male subjects managed to create a catalogue of favourable female characteristics.One guy liked the fact that his wife laughs at his jokes.She humours his humour, so to speak.Another respondent said a good woman is one who doesn’t try to understand him.He does not want to explain why he so loves hockey, nor, more than likely, can he.Me, I’m the opposite. I appreciate the fact that my wife, for the most part, understands me.Mind you, some of my friends might say, “Pfft, what’s to understand?”Hey, who asked you, anyway?One man had this to offer on the subject of female goodness: “How should I know, I’m divorced!”However, when pressed to come up with at least one example, he said it would be a woman who would stick by him, even if he was wrong.I have to guess that wasn’t his ex-wife.However, at least he knows what he’s looking for. (All the best with that.)Being a good mom came up frequently in my research, with varying definitions, the most rudimentary being “keeping the kids out of my hair.”Now there’s a man who has not fully grasped the concept of “equality,” which was something that ranked high on the female radar.One poll subject I hit up for “good woman” suggestions rubbed his chin, and after a long pause, said “Hmm, I’m coming up with a blank.”Really? There’s a guy who’s easy to please!And yes, ladies, he’s already taken. Little wonder.By contrast, it wasn’t difficult for a buddy to reel off a laundry list of his “good woman” criteria, such as being attractive, intelligent, and willing to let him do stuff – like go out and play with the boys.Lucky lad actually found a woman like that, too.The next respondent identified a common male lament.Communication.No, not the woman-talks/man-listens-without-offering-advice thing. This is the “would you please tell me what it is you want me to know, so I don’t have to keep guessing” type of communication.Men like women who tell it like it is. Don’t hint. Don’t pout. Just out with it.That way we can cut right to the next part – forgiveness.A forgiving nature is important in a good woman. That, and a short memory. Forgetting how much you’ve forgiven is very good.So is shortsightedness. Not visually, of course. More in the sense of being able to overlook our male eccentricities and behaviour.After all, we won’t change. Ask any veteran wife of 20-plus years. She may have achieved some tolerable level of compliance on household and relationship rules, but down at the core, “boys will be boys.”It’s in our genes.Which, by the way, could you please wash?

Abbotsford News