It’s great to hear that Parksville city council is focusing their attention on the possibility of placing stickers on gas pumps.
I was under the mistaken impression that council had limited resources of time, money and staffing which they needed to use to solve serious problems directly related to our local communities. It’s wonderful to see them expanding their responsibilities beyond the traditional:
• Protection of persons and property, which includes the management of local policing and firefighting services.
• Local transportation, such as management of public bus and rail services, as well as municipal roadway construction and maintenance.
• Planning and development, including municipal zoning and industrial/economic development.
• Public utilities, including the management of local sewage systems, water treatment and electric utilities.
• Local social-welfare services, such as management of local health, library and educational facilities, and social assistance services.
• Parks, recreation, and culture, including the development and management of local parks and green spaces, public recreation facilities, as well as local art and cultural programs and events.
Since council’s resources are clearly available for issues beyond the traditional scope, I believe staff should be instructed to submit a report on the feasibility of developing a sticker that can be mailed to all residents. This sticker is to be placed on your forehead before leaving your residence. The sticker to read:
“Breaking wind, medically known as flatulence, the accompanying noise often referred to as ‘blowing a raspberry’ and the resulting smells are frowned upon in our Oceanside communities.
Such activities increase global warming and create a very unpleasant atmosphere for your fellow residents and tourists. Should you be found in breach of such an order you will be flogged in the public square.”
Better yet, maybe like New Zealand, the municipalities should consider imposing the world’s first “fart tax” (nicknamed the “back-door tax.”) That way instead of spending tax dollars on “to sticker, or not to sticker,” we’d be collecting tax dollars.
Wayne NevilleFrench Creek
