I like to watch Sports Centre before I go to bed, so I can get the up-to-date scores, standings and highlights of the day. All I want is some mindless entertainment to send me off to sleep.
The other night I turned it on and the first story was about Canadian tennis player Eugenie Bouchard being asked by a male reporter to twirl around in her cute pink tennis outfit. Supposedly some folks think these outfits are a sexist ploy to get men to watch women’s tennis.
The next story was about the New England Patriots using deflated balls in their playoff game. Supposedly, in cold weather, the under-inflated ball is easier to pass, catch and kick.
Fifteen minutes into the show and I hadn’t seen one score or anyone knocked down. But I did form some opinions.
The New England quarterback has been playing football at some level since he was seven years old and yet he says he never noticed a difference in the weight of the ball. That’s like Sidney Crosby saying he didn’t notice his stick was two feet shorter. That ball is his life, I was surprised his expensive designer jeans didn’t catch on fire.
Their coach says he was too busy coaching the game and he leaves those details to his equipment staff. So it looks like the least paid, most expendable guy on the team, the equipment guy, is going to get the blame. But I think I can defend him.
Many times my kids would run to me and ask me to inflate a football or soccer ball. I would get the pump and then start looking for the little inflation needle to stick in the ball. I would rummage through my shop, my garage, the tool box in the car and the drawer in the microwave stand.
Eventually, out of frustration, I would jump in the truck and drive to the local hardware store and buy another one. I would inflate the ball, even though the kids had moved on to something else, and leave the needle in the pump for next time. But like socks in the dryer, it always disappeared.
Now let’s go to that stadium a half hour before the game. The equipment guy is scrambling trying to find his inflation needle, tearing the equipment room apart. No use thinking about a run to the hardware store because everyone in town is either at the game or at home watching it on TV.
The kickoff nears and he thinks, “The coach will be too busy coaching and that dumb jock wouldn’t notice if I handed him a watermelon.”
So maybe everyone is telling the truth. It was an innocent accident after all. The fact that there is millions of dollars at stake probably isn’t even an issue.
As for the twirling controversy, if they want men to watch women’s tennis, they have to leave them in the skimpy outfits but they have to remove the nets. When one girl gets the tennis ball, she has to run the full length of the court then toss the ball into a little basket or fire it into a goal while the other girl tries to tackle her. Then men will watch women’s tennis.
Just give me the scores and show me the highlights. At 11 p.m., I shouldn’t be asked to settle controversies for millionaires. At least that’s what McGregor says.
