Dear editor,
On the evening of Saturday, June 9, I participated in the Canadian Cancer Society’s Relay for Life at the Vanier Track. Weeks earlier I had made the decision to shave my head as a way to support a friend who was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. It’s one thing to say you’ll shave your head, but it’s another to actually do it. As part of my fundraising tactic, I promised to do a live Facebook video of the head shave if I reached my goal. Not only did I reach it, but I obliterated it by over 400 per cent.
The reason I am writing this is to bring some insight to the whole experience of going bald voluntarily.
I have always been the kind of person to have fun with my hair. My motto is “it’s only hair; it will grow back.” I worked in a salon for three years and loved to change my style and colour. Short, long, undercut… I’ve done it all.
“I’M BALD.”
Those words kept coming out of my mouth. I texted my daughter yesterday morning: “Yup, still bald.” After the ninth or 10th time saying that, it occurred to me – I’m not bald – I have a shaved head. Bald is what happens to cancer patients who go through certain types of chemotherapy. I didn’t lose my hair – I asked it to leave.
I immediately felt ashamed and embarrassed for using the term. I spent most of Sunday and Monday under a hood or hat. But I chose this. I need to embrace this.
Before falling asleep, I did just that. I took a very raw, make-up free black and white selfie and posted it on Instagram. It may be one of my favourite photos ever. It’s real.
So, here we are a few days later. Other than covering my head from rain, I’ve been hat-free all day. I visited my friend this morning as she finished her second chemo appointment and she noted that people around us were looking at me, not her. Mission accomplished. If I can support her by making her smile, or deflecting her self-consciousness about losing her hair, it was worth it.
In the last 72 hours I’ve had several people say “I don’t think I could do it.” My response to that is “Wait until you have a reason to and you might change your mind.” It’s a humbling experience and I highly recommend it.
Shannon Colthorpe
Comox
