If you compare my mug shot in today’s newspaper with last Sunday’s, you might think one thing: this guy had a rough week.
And you’d be right, thank you very much.
I mean we did launch a new look that took some doing and there was the usual anxiety about what to make for supper each and every night and there’s that Trump thing…..but no I didn’t age as much as it appears based on the mug shots.
I mean in last week’s, which may or may not actually date back to Nov. 14, 2003, I didn’t have glasses, let alone trifocals, and I still had a forehead, not a fivehead as displayed above, but, hey, at least my bald spot isn’t showing (he said, later acknowledging that sounded a tad desperate).
If the truth be known I have meant to update my mug shot on several occasions, even going so far as to have the staff photographer take a new one and get it ready for action. But, alas, it never saw the light of day.
You see I do have a bit of a procrastination problem, and then, there’s the fact that time takes a toll and maybe I’d rather be portrayed in the paper as that 2003 self, and not so much as that guy a couple of inches to the left of where you’re reading right at this moment. Denial is a powerful force.
Hey, I used to bug a couple of my realtor friends that their mug shots should appear with the disclaimer: images, of the human variety, may be quite a bit older than displayed in this offer for sale.
But, really, who am I to talk? Masquerading around as a 43-year-old when I’m really, well, you do the math.
And it’s not like some people in these parts hadn’t already noticed.
A fellow hockey parent, who shall remain nameless but his first name starts with D and ends with AVE, about five years ago started bugging me about maybe updating my mug shot one of these days.
Well, Dave, er whatever your name is, that day has finally come.
I fully admit if we hadn’t gone to a new look it may have never happened.
And it’s not like the previous one’s not from this millennium or anything.
OK, that does sound pathetic.
What you see is what you get, although it should be pointed out that I’m not so old that I’m actually in black & white, like some footage from the silent era. I can talk too, just for the record.
But I prefer to write and I will keep doing that in this space for at least the foreseeable future, although it’s obvious I’m a lot closer to being put out to pasture than you may have thought last week.
I hope you like the new look, of the paper I mean, and can put up with the older guy on this page most Sundays.
And it’s not all bad. It’s true I look much older, not to mention it’s a more accurate reflection of present reality, but I also look a little wiser and maybe even deserving of a little more respect (not the help across the street kind but the this guy may know a thing or two kind).
Plus I now get discounts at some of my favourite fast-food restaurants, without even asking. Who knows, I might even get recognized the odd time now?
