When the email began with “I don’t mean to be demeaning or insulting in ANY way, but I think you should listen to your husband,” the hair on the back of my neck stood up. Did I really just read that? I looked at the calendar pinned to the wall beside my desk.
Yup, 2018.
This was the type of letter I would expect to have been handwritten with an ink dipped quill and/or delivered by the Pony Express.
The reader had been responding to my last column, the “A Year of Looking Up.” In it, I celebrated my first year as a columnist with a look back at some of my favourite stories, and yours. (Well, obviously not his.)
In that column I had also apologized to my husband for the ribbing he gets from his buddies for having parts of our life on public display. Let me be clear, while my husband sometimes isn’t keen on my subjects, he has never once forbidden me from running with an idea. He doesn’t get that power. Again, it’s 2018.
I’m going to share this reader’s email not to disparage him but because I think this is an excellent opportunity to showcase why I write this column and to remind people to choose their words carefully, especially given the current public discourse surrounding the treatment of women (now and throughout history) and the expectations regarding our treatment today.
And let’s be honest, when you communicate knowingly with a reporter, you should always be prepared to be quoted.
More of his email:
“Yes, there has been the odd story that’s been ‘interesting,’…. but some of them ….. well……shall I say less interesting indeed,” he continued. “SURELY, repeat, SURELY there are other things more interesting to write about around this area that would be more informative, educational and controversial than some of your subjects.”
(The capital letters let me know he’s serious, I guess.)
I don’t think he cared for my underwear piece. And most of the others it seems.
Guess what? I couldn’t care less.
I got his email the day after I learned I was named the second best columnist in Canada at the 2018 Canadian Community Newspaper Awards.
SEE RELATED: Cowichan papers are national award winners
SURELY, repeat, SURELY, that means somebody out there thinks I’m interesting? The fact that of the 52 I’ve written, he found “the odd story” interesting, tells me he’s read many of them. He may not enjoy them but it seems I’ve captured his attention regardless.
The writer capped off his email with this: “If you are short of ideas, just let me know and I’ll give you some ideas.”
I have loads of ideas. And if you don’t care to read the ones I have, turn the page, this column is not for you. There’s no need to email me and tell me you don’t like my stuff. There’s nothing positive about that.
To the writer: emails like yours are the reason I write a “good news” column. However unintended, your email was indeed demeaning and insulting and if you can’t see why then perhaps you should read more current events and fewer columns like mine.
And just for the record, I WILL listen to my husband. Not because he’s my keeper but because he’s my partner. He values my thoughts and opinions and admires my strength, creativity and work ethic. And when I’m done listening to my dear spouse, I’ll do what I want.
It’s 2018 and I’m not changing for anybody — especially not for you.
sarah.simpson@cowichanvalleycitizen.comLike us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter
