This week’s Hugs & Slugs offerings

To the boozed-up clowns and tarts-in-training who marred Whitewater’s family beach party a few weeks back

Hugs. To the group Second Wind who volunteer their time and talent to bring joy to seniors all throughout Nelson on a monthly basis. We are still smiling from your last visit! Love, your friends at Jubilee! You guys rock!

HUGS. To all the Slugs.                   — Woody

 

SLUGS. To the boozed-up clowns and tarts-in-training who marred Whitewater’s family beach party a few weeks back. With little kids and parents enjoying the final Sunday of a stellar season at the mountain, it was a total drag to see your gang bomb past the bunny hill with your boobs and butts hanging out. The gratuitous nudity was lame. Woodstock ended half a century ago. Save that crap for your mom and dad’s basement. And to the drunk long-haired Aussie stumbling around in nothing but his surf shorts — you’re an embarrassment to anyone who knows the words to Waltzing Matilda. If you can’t behave any better than an outback outcast then hop a one-way jet and take off. Regardless, congrats to the Whitewater staff for not tasering the entire lot of ya.

 

SLUGS. To the RV/trailer trasher. If it is parked on the street call the bylaw officer. If it is parked in my driveway, I pay my taxes, mind your own business.

 

Hugs. And goodbye to Extra Foods. Special thanks to Annette for courtesy and efficiency, Tina who always knew if the ham was full cooked and Robin for remaining good humoured over screw-ups.

 

HUGS. Huge hugs to the two gals that spearheaded the Sunshine Bay Riding Club’s 20th dinner/dance and to all the volunteers. It was a fabulous evening and the food was so totally scrumptiously delicious. Thanks to all the businesses and individuals that donated to our silent auction and toonie auction. Thank you!

 

SLUGS. To the person complaining about people leaving their RVs in their driveways… mind your own business! I think I can use my personal property for storing whatever I like. If you don’t like it, look the other way.

 

SLUGS. To people working out at the gym who feel the need to yack away at their cellphones. Why are you working out in the first place? It is disruptive to your work out flow and very unnecessary! Please leave your tumor toy in the locker until you’re done.

 

Slugs. To the fearless female hunter for shooting poor Harry. While turkey hunting on private land without permission, it would seem that you outwitted this wild and wily bird. In truth we have three completely tame and trusting tom turkeys (Tom, Dick and Harry) that we raised from orphan poults and, had you waited a while, he would have come right up to you anyway. Your claim that you “missed him” was also flawed as he showed up late for breakfast the next day — blind in one eye and having great difficulty swallowing. I suspect acute traumatic lead poisoning. Call for further updates on his condition and bring a net to test your angling skills on a couple of nice koi in our small ornamental pond.

 

HUGS. To Coach Iain at Soccer Quest. Your sometimes prickly exterior and full volume 10 communication skills may be a wee bit scary at first, but underneath all that is a kind man and excellent soccer coach. This community is very fortunate to have a guy like you to mentor us coaches and teach our children how to be better players and better people. Keep up the great work, continue to spread the passion and good luck in the spring season.

 

Nelson Star